11-11 Crowdfunding Event - Numbers Tell Stories (Too)
It took me 35 years to come full circle, but I think I made it: I believe in magic again.
LISTEN, y’all. I’m a scholar. Former academic. This is serious stuff. One does not blissfully dive into witchcraft, astrology, the Dictionary of Symbols — which I quoted in my first undergrad essay on contemporary poetry… that did NOT go well — without being met with raised eyebrows and scuffing.
When I began to think about this crowdfunding event, I tried to figure out what it would mean for me first. After all, Faces of Postpartum was built as a way to climb out of my own darkness, and to think about doing a whole fundraising campaign on my own, only four years after its inception, felt like a god damn miracle.
So I wondered how to tie everything together: the interviews, photographs, need for financial support, summer in Montreal, the exhaustion, but also the significant strength, creativity, and resilience I had gained while doing and making the work.
I’ve known for a while that Faces of Postpartum would be an ever-morphing project that would keep on going no matter what the expectations, the strains and fluctuations of my own life or moods, or the algorithms’ will.
As artists and professionals, the dance between business and creation is not always the prettiest, and it’s easy to just get stuck in our heads, the to-do lists, the constant failure to achieve all the goals.
But if the past few months have taught me something, it’s that I had gotten tired of being a cynic. So instead, I began believing in magic.
To Find Meaning
“To believe in magic” defines my ability to induce and introduce (more) meaning into my world, to welcome and read the signs in times when I would have otherwise looked the other way.
I was born on Monday, August 11, 1986, at 1:03 AM, at the cusp of a new week.
1.One: number of bold beginnings, fresh starts, and independence.
One, karmic number of leadership that demands to take charge and forge a path.11. Eleven, symbol of divine partnership that represents being connected with both the earth and the sky, standing in perfect harmony and equal reciprocity with others. Connected. Balanced.
111. Sacred creation. To engage in creative pursuits with a sense of play and happiness. The creative spark acts like a source of inspiration and connection. A deep understanding that my community and relationships deserve to be nurtured.
I’m smiling as I type these words.
Part of me cannot believe I will actually put this out there.
But here I am, laying down in a bed with both my girls (1+1+1), working, creating as they watch Lucas next to me, fighting for the tablet, keeping me anchored, down to earth, as I break down their fight while looking for meanings in holy numbers.
Power in repetitions
They say “practice makes perfect,” but what believe to be true(r) is that practice makes passion.
Perfection is boring. Passion, on the other hand...
To fall in love with one’s work, children, friends, partners demands repetition of the same (gestures, reciprocity, love). I+I=II times infinity.
Mike calls it the Ikea effect (if you care or build something for long enough, you’ll start to REALLY love that thing). I just think that discipline, consistency, and commitment are what make life worth living.
11:11. My sister and I — like most people — used to excitedly scream “MAKE A WISH” each time we’d look at the clock and it was 11:11. Not to mention that she’s born on November 11, which made us even more elated. 11:11 was meant for her. Now I know it’s because she’s the most intuitive soul I know, a healer who guides many, and a constant source of inspiration.
I like to think that the repetition of these numbers can be seen as guidance and confirmation that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be.
That however artificial my choice of dates was for the campaign were, they were not completely random.
1111 is said to be a synchronistic manifestation, a path to prosperity and abundance.
Here’s to wish that the period between July 11 until August 11 is exactly that.